Make it classy, make it worth it
by mattiasprite
Summary: It's a slow saturday morning. Lindsay attempts to get a nice five hour nap in before her parents get home... but suddeny there's grass instead of carpet. first chapter disclaimer is pretty exciting news
1. Pills

So I hope everyone enjoys this story, seeing as it's going to be the few 'girl-finds-herself-in-middle-earth' stories that actually make sense and don't scare you away with bad spelling or horrible OOCness.

How great.

I probably spent a few hours today looking for a good lord of the rings fiction that went by these guidelines that I haven't already read aaaaaand surprise surprise I couldn't find any

* * *

"_So did you want to do anything today?_"

"Hang on…. (A whining voice is heard in the background.) That's a no. My parents are being stubborn."

"_Awww. Ok, well I hope you feel better._"

"I'll try. Thanks so much for being my social interaction for the day."

"_Haha. Anytime lovely._"

"Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee."

"_Don't diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiie."_

"VERY fu- ah, jerk! She hung up already."

Lindsay let out a deep cough as she hung up the phone and began to slowly make her way back up the stairs to her nice warm, and probably ridden with the plague, bed. Finding out the week before that Ford Modeling of New York, NY had finally decided to consider your 5'11'' 147lb body is most definitely a godsend, but it sadly can't make being sick any more exciting of an experience. Her mom had taken her to the doctors earlier in the day in hopes of getting some antibiotics that would do the job of recovery better than dozens of Ibuprofens. Instead she received the wonderful news of actually having bronchitis of all things.

So much for the common cold.

Realizing that your entire thanksgiving vacation would be wasted in bed playing PS2 and listening to itunes can be a heart breaker to say in the least, but Lindsay was determined to make it something she wasn't going to cry over later and then blame her parents a million times over for.

"Ok. Let's try aim."

Her computer booted. Something fizzed… and died quite blatantly.

"Piece of crap! Fine, let's see what's on TV."

'_Do you feel yourself lacking in your performance come bedtime?'_

"GAH."

_CLICK_

'… _Does the thought of your wife leaving you for a 'well endowed' man scare you?'_

"What the hell. Way to be a failure in life Mr. Remote."

Lugging herself out of bed, the blonde grudgingly made her way over to the TV that was successfully beginning to melt her brain with promises of 'happy sex'. Since she was sick, dazed, and had a pounding headache, Lindsay failed to notice the lone sneaker in the middle of her floor.

"Oh. So that's where my other running shoe went."

… or she did?

'_Has your little buddy lately been looking less like a banana and more like a squash?_'

"BAD IMAGES! Stupid- GAH my head. Oh crap, those black dots are back. Mom did tell me not too exert myself too mu-"

CRASH

And that works just as well. As she laid on her carpeted floor, unconsciously mind you, her mind began to slowly bend and break from the terrible pain, somehow causing her entire body to slowly…

_Disappear._

Where she was headed was definitely unknown, however at least one thing was certain. That was-

'_In just THREE DAYS you'll have that special 'spring' back in your step if you know what we mean!'_

-Wherever it was it would be a MUCH better place.

* * *

Once awake, Lindsay started to feel that horrible pressure you get inside your ears whenever you take off in a plane, have a cold, and no gum or Mentos nearby.

BUMMER.

She needed to assess where on her floor she was actually laying so the 'getting cozy in bed' part could come a little bit faster. However, when her senses finally decided to kick in she began to realize that instead of the mixture of warmth and softness she expected to feel from her carpet, she was experiencing the wonderful sensation of cold dirt between her nails and fingers.

"No way is my room that mess- WOAH that's bright." She exclaimed cringing.

Upon looking up and opening her already lazy and irritated eyes, she was blasted with an extremely bright sunshine dissolved only a fraction by the surrounding tree branches. There were few clouds in the sky and the temperature felt like a comfortable 75 degrees. Lindsay wasn't even going to begin questioning how it could be such a wonderful day in the middle of December. Finding her bed came first and foremost and then maybe some aspirin after that. Ideas whirled in her head of what she'd be able to accomplish by just lying there. Well, shockingly nothing came to mind except a nice long nap in a strange place, so her next vote was to get up.

"Ok. I'm definitely in a forest. I still don't know why it feels like summer in god damn December, and why do I suddenly have a strong urge to grow prance with some deer? This place… is kind of scaring me… and I'm TALKING TO MYSELF. I really need to get out of here."

Nature had never before given her such an unease to be in her own skin before. That feeling was usually reserved for scary movies and creepy pervs, so how could lush and beautiful landscape be doing this to her? Before she could ponder the mysteries of life any further, a very short and gruff clearing of the throat was heard from behind her. Lindsay turned, saw four very tall men (even for her standards) staring straight at her.

They didn't look too happy.

* * *

WELL! I know that this is a VERY short chapter, but hey, I'm sick, and need some sleep. I mean jeeze. What is it? 2:30am?

Thanks for reading, please R&R and goodnight!


	2. Waves

So this is the second chapter! I think I want to go in a really thoughtful, deep direction for this story. I just watched a complete chick flick and listened to Dave Matthews for an hour so maybe that's why?

Definitely need to thank Terrenchi for giving me a good kick in the ass to get this story going again. Thanks a lot ;

Try to stay focused when reading this chapter, because it might sound like it's off the time line of the story so far, but it really isn't.

* * *

_Last time…_

_Lindsay turned and saw four very tall men staring straight at her. _

_They didn't look too happy._

Chapter Two: Waves

Normally, when people sleep, their subconscious thought begins to work its magic. Objects and landscapes are brought to life in a vibrant way, and things once thought implausible become raw with realism. Being very fond of sleeping the day away, Lindsay was used to dreams and the sereneness they could bring-

…however this was no dream.

Her peripheral vision might as well have been an umbrella with gashes in it for all the good it was doing her, for everywhere she turned all was the same. No distinct shape, no obvious difference in anything. The world around her , besides moving quite fast, was like night but without the hints of light that give it contrast. Lindsay needed out and she needed out NOW. After twisting and turning through the air gave no results, she tried leaping… through the air. He brain wasn't working very well at that time. She wanted to cry and scream, but a sudden soothing melody came to her rescue.

'_Down the middle drops one more_

_grain of sand._

_They say that_

_New life makes losing life easier_

_To understand.'_

It was her ipod, her 'I make everything just that much better' device. It glowed softly, comfortingly, and gave the emotional girl a little grasp on reality that she desperately needed. Time went by as she stared into the small lit screen and watched the band names go by one by one, giving her something to focus on as her lugubrious fall continued.

* * *

"So you say the branch suddenly fell out of nowhere just to land exclusively in your path of footing, and caused you to trip?" A Man questioned his companion.

"Yes, of course! That is exactly what happened. You do not seem to believe my story." Retorted an angered soldier.

"Because it is simply that! A story to save your dignity after tripping over a tree branch. You are quite the untalented liar, Galan.

"Well pardon my attempt DEAR FRIEND. I at least-… Did you see that? That trail in the sky?"

"Say again?" The man looked to sky at Galan's insistence, yet saw nothing. "You're mind tricks you Galan. Tis nothing."

"But it was! Something… I mean. Micole, you have yet to believe a word I have said this night."

Micole shifted slightly, "And for good reason." He said with a smirk. Galan sighed and rose to approach the camp fire for a second serving. Their company would be moving out very soon. He didn't know exactly why, however; he could sense that somewhere, something was amiss.

* * *

Her body felt warm and cold at the same time. Almost like that strange feeling you get from standing outside after a fresh snowfall. She gave into the urge to open her eyes due to a more important feeling her body was relaying to her: the sense of being watched.

In poor Lindsay's case though, it was flat out eye rape.

"She has awakened!"

She could not believe her eyes and what they were relaying to her. Four men, all above average height and looks, lengthy hair, and funky costumes to boot, were just standing in front of her with both perplexed and questioning faces. The one standing closest to her seemed the most interested of the bunch, with his head shining a vibrant yellow blonde it almost seemed as if the sun itself had been imbedded into his skull.

His first words were not very complimentary. At the very least they screamed sarcasm.

"Pardon for asking, but do you suffer from ailments of the mind milady?"

Lindsay fumbled a tad. "E-excuse me?" Sunshine glared while two of the men in back of him began to snicker.

"Must I rephrase my question? We have been awaiting your consciousness for some time now. The last we saw of you awake was nothing short of insanity I assure you." He stated with no patience whatsoever.

'I guess these guys haven't dealt with a raging female before.' She thought while pondering what she must have done after she flat out fainted; the first time she had stared into the group's surprised eyes. HOLD EVERYTHING. She had quite possibly never been insulted so much in her entire life of sixteen years. Was this… this PANSY of a man implying she was numb in the head? How rude! Sure just seconds ago she had been lying on the ground of some unknown forest in the middle of December in a tank top and boxers but HEY. She would have to explain to them, no matter how bizarre it was, how she ended up there.

"No. For your information I am perfectly fine thank you. I really don't know what happened. I mean this might sound crazy which would again lead you to the conclusion that I was insane but anyway I must have passed out-because-I-have-a-fever-from-having-bronchitis-andIfellontomybedroomfloorandthenexthingIknowIwokeuphereso if you guys could…" she paused and came out of her rambling mode to realize they had just begun to stare again.

"You know what? Never mind it. I'll just go. Sorry for troubling you guys."

As Lindsay turned to go, a commanding shout halted her step.

"Remain where you stand." It wasn't Sunshine this time, but the man who had been standing directly next to him, the man with pure Ivory hair. "Answers are in order Milady. We did not question your mentality without reason. Why are you skimming the outer boundaries of the elven city of Imralhdis?"

"Why you are not clothed reasonably would be an adequate answer as well." smirked one the brunettes in the back of the group. Lindsay noticed now that the two in back were actually twins. They both shared the same delicious chocolate hair shade that made you automatically think of said sugary pleasures.

"I-uh… can't really explain it myself, but I WAS honestly just in my room so that's why I'm dressed like this. Where is Imralhdis? Last time I checked we were in Washington's crossing.

The chocolate twins had already started snickering again at her babbling and uncertainty. What was so god damn funny? "Would you SHUT UP? That's really insulting if you didn't know!"

That shut them up. That achieved what is known as a P.O.M.P.O.F.: Pissed off male pack of four. P.o.m.p.o.t.'s and p.o.m.p.o.o.'s were usually easily dealt with, but seeing how the poor girl was sick, tired, and just utterly fonfuzzled, a resolution was no where in sight.

"That decides it. She is coming with us." Mr. White stated. What was he getting at? Did they really plan on kidnapping her just like that? Again! How rude!

"Are you imbecilic as well Saeldur!? Why bother with such a needy task?" Sunshine sounded somewhat peeved. It suited him.

"Calm yourself Alyan. The girl is obviously in need of assistance. Though her appearances may seem disheveled and meager, she may prove to be quite a 'threat'. Wouldn't you say Elledan?" He turned to his twin.

"Oh without question. Measures must be taken in order to protect the border."

"You two are only looking for a reprieve from the routine border check. How childish of you both!" Sunshine was really going at it!

"This situation in its entirety is the reason we have these checks in the first place Alyan. We must follow procedure. Elledan, Elrohir, flank her on each side so she follows and does not suddenly decide to venture elsewhere.

"Ai." They responded simultaneously.

During the squabbling, Lindsay had mostly ignored the conversation in order to scan her surroundings and absentmindedly adjust her boxer's placement on her hips while she thought of how to get home from wherever she was. Navigation was never her strong point, but as long as she escaped the freaks in tights she would be good. At a second glance she had noticed what the men were actually wearing and she concluded that they must have never seen Style Network in their entire lives. They were mostly clad in leather and fabric that seemed to be silk in origin, but somehow it seemed much finer and delicate. No further thoughts could be made thanks to her brand new BESTEST buddies forcefully guiding her to a cluster of horses she had not noticed until then.

"You guys are ASSHOLES. As soon as I get anywhere near a phone I'm calling the cops and you guys are goin DOWN." Lindsay spouted once she finally gathered the courage. She was still somewhat light headed from her pleasant little blackout and fall into nothingness. The twins looked at each other, back to their superiors, and then quizzically back at Lindsay. They truly had no idea how t deal with this kind of situation. She was shocking enough with her strange garb, but with the added sass in her language she was by far an enigma to all four elves. Alyan in particular did not care for dealing with things that flew past his span of knowledge and experience; this being the main reason for is rudeness.

"You shall hold your tongue until we have reached Imhraldis. There you shall be allowed to say your piece, and I can guarantee nothing past that." All Alyan received was a scowl and a turn of the head.

* * *

PHEW. That was actually a very fun chapter to write. When things are fresh in a story, like the first few chapters, it's so easy to manipulate anything you want... it's GLORIFYING :D

Really hope I can get more chapters out in a shorter amount of time, because I'm starting to get attached to this one. Awww. It's like a new pet. If I don't start treating it well, it's bound to hate me and run away.

Or something like that?

R&R! Thanks!


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